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Jun. 30th, 2010

I FUCKING HATE MY MANAGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night the movie was amazing. I picked up next week's schedule but didn't look so I wouldn't mess up my enjoyment of the movie.

I just opened my schedule. AND OF COURSE MY MANAGER HAS ME WORKING THE 4TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's given herself a holiday. I don't get paid an extra 8 hours because it is a holiday since I'm not an assistant manager/manager. I am SO PISSED & UPSET.

I hate her. She's horrible. I want to complain to someone. I want to go in & tell her off but I need the money. I'm so upset. This is not fair. I've worked almost every single holiday.

I'm going to have to get up super early on Sunday, Independence Day, to get back her to work on my favorite holiday, when I"m not the new associate & I have worked every holiday.

I'm so angry!!!!

Jun. 29th, 2010

So, I worked last night, with my manager. The assistant manager I love, C,  was there for the 1st half-an-hour before she was off. C. said the manager hadn't posted the new schedule yet but would probably put it up while I was there. C & I have been the ones who had to work all the holidays & days around them. She doesn't like the manager either.

I was really stupidly anxious about the schedule being put up. I reasoned what the worst thing that could happen would be & I would live, obviously. But I was still feeling worried. Would I start crying? Or screaming? Ok, not screaming, but possibly crying.

I thought the manager was putting it up at one point. She went on her break (that was another thing: she didn't give me a break since it was only a 3.5 hr. shift, though she always gives other people a break with that shift) and I check where she usually posts it and it wasn't there.

Obviously I didn't want to ask. I also didn't check again before we left after closing. So, I don't know when I'm supposed to work next. She knows I am not scheduled the rest of the week since she gave me the days I requested off. I don't know what to do next. I'm going to a movie tonight & our store is right next to the movie theater. She won't be there but C will. Do I go in & check? Or just be oblivious? I don't think it is fair to expect someone who asked for days off for a vacation to constantly come check when she works next. The schedule should have been up Saturday at the latest.

So, do I check tonight? Or do I go on my trip without knowing when I work next?
I never write here but I'm anxious about something tonight & no one's around so I thought I would post it. I have a shift tonight & I am nervous about going because I don't want to see the schedule for the next couple of weeks. I have a trip coming up next week & requested days off but what if I don't get them? 

I'm also anxious about Independence Day. Outside of Christmas, it is my absolute favorite holiday. I plan to be across the state. But, awhile ago our horrid manager made a rule that no more than 3 people could ask for a specific day off. The 2 who have asked for all the holidays & best days off of course already had their names on it & a co-worker I love asked for it off. That leaves the manager, the new assistant manager, the new associate, and I. The problem is that the new associate won't work on Sundays, which is the day the 4th falls on this year. And, the manager ALWAYS manages to give herself good days off without having to request, simply by arranging her schedule. So that probably leaves me & the new assistant manager. 

I'm not the new employee so I shouldn't have to work that day. And, I have worked basically every single day before/after or on a holiday since I began working there except for Memorial Day, which I had requested off. I could list them all here, since I sometimes go through them when I'm upset at work & feel like I am going to have to argue my case with the manager, but I won't. The 2 people who always get the good days off basically write their names on months in advance and the manager just gives them to them. When I started there I was stupidly under the impression that holidays would be fairly divided so I didn't request any days off right at Thanksgiving or Christmas. STUPID. The only day I did request off, New Year's Day, had only been requested by 1 person when I wrote my name down. When I got back from a music trip in early December there was a note on my locker saying I couldn't have it off because 3 people had already asked. I don't know where they asked but if I was following procedure then I was the one who should have got it off. And, yes, of course the 2 who asked were the ones who always get days off. It especially annoys me that one has it off. She had the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, the day after Christmas, and then asked for NYD. Not fair. She also got Halloween, Super Bowl Sunday, Valentine's Day, the day before Easter, etc. No, she doesn't have little kids. Is it too much to ask that I get my favorite holiday off?

What also annoys me is that when I interviewed I said I wanted about 15 hours a week and could do more during school breaks. She said, ok 15-20 if needed. I was very, very busy working 4 jobs and it almost killed me October-January. My first week of school break she scheduled me for 33 hours, all the worst shifts, and I had no time to do any decorating, baking, shopping, etc. I meant that I could also work during the days, not that I wanted to work a full time week, all evenings & Christmas Eve. Lately she's given me a 4-hour shift a week. One week I didn't have any hours. And then she hired a new associate, who she knew from before, to cover vacations. Except that the new associate has been given at least 4 hours a week and 7 this week, I think. Those hours should all be mine. If the manager wants to abuse my time at her convenience then I should at least get what I need to make it though the summer. I don't understand why I have only 1, shorter shift and the new associate gets 7, unless the manager is just playing favorites. That's not ok to me and if I had any job prospects I would confront her and/or quit. I just can't right now.

Sorry for venting. I'm just having a tough year and I want to say so much more but no one cares. If you read this far thank you.

Have you got a clue?

Alright, so my oldest friend's 30th birthday is in about 2 weeks and I haven't a clue what to get her! She's really rather picky and she tends to buy whatever she wants, when she wants it. I generally don't have a problem getting her something but this is a big one and I want it to be special. 

Does anyone have any ideas? Pretty please?

Here are some of the things she loves, in case they spark any ideas:

~Fleur de Lis
~Dave Matthews (Although I don't like him & she knows, so I'd rather not get something DM)
~Tom Petty
~The Office
~Florence, Italy
~movies like the Hangover
~Kermit the Frog
~Fozzie Bear

I don't want to get her cookbooks, since I've given her a lot and she has a ton. I've thought about giving her different things but nothing special enough for a 30th birthday. I don't know if a collection of smaller, special things would be as good.

Or maybe I should get 30 little items that have some meaning & collect them in a basket, which could be included in the count? 

So far I've got a green t-shirt that has a cool graphic of a leprechaun & says "Blame it on the Leprechaun" and a bookmarker that has an R and a fleur de lis.

Any ideas? Thank you in advance!
I really ought to write here more often. It could be quite fun.

But now I'm going to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (if I can get it out from beneath the dog, who is, for some reason, sleeping on it, on the couch. Bad dog.) and drink some tea that I found in a bag without a label. We shall see if I can determine what it is.


X's & O's

Poll #1507430 X's & O's

When someone writes "xoxoxo," which is the kiss: the x or the o?

I have no idea.


Wah wah wah

I really ought to go to bed. Right now. But I don't want to because that means I'll go to sleep which means I'll wake up and have to go to work. I have an 8 hour shift tomorrow. Eight hours of standing, dealing with customers, and straightening clothes. I hate it.

But, I'm very thankful to have the job because I need the money (to pay for my lovely music trips). I just wish I didn't have to go for 8 hours. I dread it. Every second.

And I have family in town this weekend to celebrate my uncle's birthday. He died on Easter this year and we had a birthday dinner. I had to leave early to work, which wasn't fun. And I won't get to see them all day tomorrow, which isn't fun.

But, I'll get to see Bobby Long in November, so I guess I shouldn't complain so much. And I should go to bed.

This is in memory of my Uncle Bob . . . the first time I saw Bobby Long play live, 31 July 2009, Poor David's Pub, Dallas, Texas.

And, actually, here's my own video of Bobby singing "Dead and Done" at El Corazon in Seattle.

I am Addicted . . .

. . . to this video/medley.

"Penance Fire Blues" has always been one of my favorite
Bobby Long songs, especially live. He's begun adding "In My Time of Dyin'" on to the end and it blows me away. Especially this live version.

The video's absolutely gorgeous as well and you can't look away from that passion and intensity. Watch it and tell me you aren't a fan of someone who can sing/play music like that.

Bobby's amazing. You should see him live . . .

And come visit us at The Land of Dreamers to learn a lot more about Bobby!

Need a Laugh?

Even on the saddest days we should remember to laugh. So here are a couple of things that made me laugh. A lot. (Adult language in the first one.)

8 Years Later

I cannot believe it has been 8 years since the events of 9/11/01. What a horrible day. I still remember it so vividly. It is seared into my memory. The way so many of our fellow Americans were murdered. The way the Twin Towers fell. The hole in the Pentagon, symbol of our military might, and that crater in the field in Pennsylvania.

Those terrorist attacks were an act of war, not a crime, and we should continue to treat them that way. I am so thankful for our military, who keep us safe by dealing with the bad guys (and they are the bad guys) in far off lands, away from their families. We haven't had a terrorist attack on our homeland in 8 years, thanks to President Bush and our military. I am so thankful for that. On 9/11/01, I thought we would be attacked and attacked and attacked. I woke every morning for ages after that wondering if we would be attacked again. I remember how all planes were grounded for at least 3 days and the skies were so silent. But, when planes started flying again, they all sounded SOOOO close and loud and I always looked up expecting to see one crashing. That's now how we live in the United States. We are blessed that way. And I want us to stay that way. And I want the world to be that way. But it doesn't become that way through talking, talking, talking. That's what got us to 9/11.

So today I remember all who were murdered, all who died saving lives, all who fought the good fight, all who mourn still, all who stand up and fight, and, especially Barbara Olson, who was one of my favorite political commentators and was on the flight that hit the Pentagon.

A couple of years ago I participated in the 2,996 Tribute, where bloggers were given someone who died on 9/11 to write about. I keep reposting my tribute, to Betty Ann Ong, Flight Attendant, Flight 11, every year. This is my tribute to Betty Ann Ong. Please read it and remember Betty and the other victims/heroes of 9/11. God bless us all.


This is dedicated in Memory of Betty Ong and in Honor of the Ong Family. May God bless you all.

2,996 is a tribute to the victims of 9/11.

On September 11, 2006, 2,996 volunteer bloggers
will join together for a tribute to the victims of 9/11.

Today, September 11, 2006, I remember Betty Ong, Flight Attendant, American Airlines, Flight 11.

On September 11, 2001, Betty Ong was just doing her job . . . a job she loved. She was a flight attendant for American Airlines, on Flight 11, which was going from Boston, Massachusetts, to Los Angeles, California. Betty had been with American for 14 years and loved her job and
was a tireless worker. Whenever she worked a late night flight, she would never sit down and relax. Even when passengers were sleeping, she would walk down the aisles and softly talk to the passengers who were awake and provide blankets to those who were asleep. It would not be unusual to find Betty caring for a passenger's baby while their parent's rested. (Source)
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She was a people person and it was safe to say people loved her too.

Betty didn't start out life as a flight attendant. She was born in San Francisco, California, on February 5, 1956 to a family with four children. Betty and her siblings grew up in Chinatown and she attended George Washington High School (Source).

She had a special place in her heart for children and senior citizens:
She paid special attention to them whenever they were aboard a flight she was working. On many occasions, Betty would drive a half hour from her home, into Boston, to have lunch and take walks with senior citizens. She shared stories about her far away travels with the neighboring children and often had trinkets to give them. (Source)
Betty's loving personality made her a perfect candidate to be a flight attendant:

She was feminine, very humorous, very caring, and she loved people," said Cathie Ong, [Betty's sister]. "She saw the humor and loved to bring out the humor. And she just loved to laugh. She had this habit, when she laughed, it was just very distinct. She would slap her knees when she would laugh, yet on the plane she was very professional."

Passengers and crew members loved Ms. Ong, 45. "She made everybody feel like they knew her right away," Cathie Ong said. "She had a knack for making people feel at ease. But if you were out of line with her, she wouldn't hesitate to put you in place. She was tough when she had to be." (Source)
On September 11, 2001, Betty showed just how tough she could be.

At about 8:20am on that day, Betty managed to get a call through to a woman named Nydia Gonzalez at the American Airlines Reservation center. It was one of, if not the first, calls with information about the hijackings. She stayed on the line for 23 minutes. (Michelle Malkin has a post up about Flight 11, here, which has a lot about Betty's role that day.)

Betty didn't panic. She calmly and professionally relayed information from the passengers and other members of the crew of Flight 11.
After Ong's description of the scene on board, Gonzalez and a second call-taker asked Ong what seat she was in.

Ong identified herself and her seat number, and said, "OK, our number one got stabbed, our purser is stabbed. Nobody knows who stabbed who, and we can't even get up to business class right now because nobody can breathe." (Source)
Betty's bravery and serenity under pressure helped alert the authorities to the terror that was about to unfold. Her call helped air controllers to decide to ground planes.
Ong calmly told ground staff there were possibly four hijackers of Middle Eastern extraction on board.

Ong also reported on the carnage taking place -- the First Class galley attendant, stabbed; the purser, stabbed. The terrorists also slashed the throat of a passenger, who was bleeding profusely. The hijackers locked themselves in the cockpit.

Amid the mid-air horror, Ong remained cool. She identified the seats the terrorists had occupied, enabling the FBI to learn the hijackers' passport details.

Fifteen minutes after Ong first alerted the world to what was happening, the big Boeing suddenly lurched, tilting wildly. She said the pilots were probably no longer flying the airplane. The 767 approached Manhattan, flying ever lower.

Still on the line, Ong said in a composed voice: "Pray for us. Pray for us."

Seconds later the line went dead.

Her ground contact asked: "What's going on, Betty? Betty, talk to me. Are you there? Betty?" (Source)
Betty Ann Ong was only 45 when her life was ended, much to young. She has so much left to do.
Only a portion of Betty's call was recorded. A small segment was played for the 9/11 Commission and Betty's family in January 2004.
"She was outstanding, under those circumstances," Cathie Ong said. "It's hard for us all to imagine ever being in those shoes. My family and I, we cried. She was just exemplary in her performance, her attitude and everything. "

"She was very take-charge, and we were very proud of her. She was very calm." (Source)

The audio from that four minute portion of Betty's call can be heard here (The transcript can be found there too).

Betty Ann Ong was a Hero on September 11, 2001. She made a choice not to passively accept her fate and did her best to save the Crew and Passengers of Flight 11.

Betty Ong will never be forgotten.

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Of course, Betty was a lot more than a victim of 9/11:
She was the youngest of four siblings, a loving daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. She was warm, caring, thoughtful, and considerate, always thinking of others before herself. Gifted with a sense of humor, Betty had a knack for making people feel comfortable and putting them at ease. She had a smile about her that could light up a room and lift up a spirit. She could feed laughter to anyone's heart. (Source)
Betty's brother Harry paid tribute to her with this poem:

Dear Bee:

I don't know fully why you left us
I don't know fully when you left us
I don't know fully how you left us
But I do know that I miss you so very much

I do know that you left us doing the job you loved best
I do know you left us fighting to the very end
And I do know you did your job most heroically

Oh how I wish I could turn the clock back to make things whole again
This is so much like a dream
I never expected to write you this letter..
Let alone a letter like this for you before me

Each day I wake up waiting for you to call or I.M. me just to say "Hello"
I go over and over the moments we shared together and wish we could share even more
And now as I slowly wake up each day, I realize that I can only talk to you in my heart and know that you are here in spirit

I whisper a little "hello" when I walk by your picture each day
Bee, I will never really say goodbye to you
because you are forever in my heart and soul
Bee, I just want to say I'm so very proud of you
And I really miss you so

Your loving brother, Harry
In honor of Betty, her family has established the Betty Ong Foundation:

a not for profit public charity, [it] was established to continue her legacy. The advocacy of the Betty Ann Ong Foundation serves to educate children to the positive benefits of lifelong physical activity and healthy eating habits and to provide opportunities for children to experience the great outdoors so that they can grow to become healthy, strong and productive individuals.

Betty's memory will live through the Foundation's work for the advocacy of children and to give recognition to heroic flight attendants who continue to work hard to keep the passengers safe in the aftermath of September 11, 2001.

You can pay further tribute to Betty Ong at one of the following sites:

September 11 Victims
Remember September 11
9-11 Heroes
Living Tribute

In Memory of Betty Ong and All Who Died on September 11, 2001.

May we NEVER Forget.

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I know I will never.